Heart Talk

Christopher G. Moore, novelist and author of Heart Talk, a book of the Thai “heart” terms, has revised and re-released his landmark work, writes: Thomas Brecelic

In Thailand, the language of the heart is not just for pillow talk. Expressions like khao jai (“into the heart”, or to understand) and jai yen (“cool heart”) are a part of everyday speech. Bangkok resident Christopher G. Moore, the Canadian author of heart Talk, a compendium of “heart” terms, and 13 novels, believes that Thai “arguably contains the most heart expressions of any language”. Heart Talk, which was first published by White Lotus in 1992, was recently revised and the addition of 250 more jai terms. Moore talks about what led him to compile these expressions.

What made you think of writing a book like this?
When I was learning the language, I had noticed there were a number of phrases that had the word jai in it. A typical one was greng jai, and the more I came across other phrases, like nork jai, som jai, samuk jai, I said, “Hold on a second, Is there a book I can learn the jai words because I’m intrigued by them?”

Anyway, there was no book, so I photocopied the dictionary and there were only about 20 listings. And that’s what I was really up against. Literally, there are about 500 to 600 such phrases, and the dictionaries had only about 20 or 30. They weren’t in the same place, and were scattered all over the place.

How did you go about writing Heart Talk?
I hired my Thai teacher as a research assistant and several other researchers to help me collect the heart phrases. And then came the difficult work of trying to come up with meanings and definitions. Most of the phrases are metaphoric and when you are dealing with metaphors, you get a lot of different views of what they really mean, especially when dealing with a new language. So I used my research assistants to try and gather the jai words and their meanings. In addition, I would go out and talk with bilingual Thais so that I could hear the words both in Thai and English and then try and come up with some kind of meaning for the phrases.

How long did it take just to compile the words?
It took a solid year of research, and another year of research to complete the revised edition. It was like writing three or four novels simultaneously. To compile the cords, to get the Thai phonetics right, and then get the appropriate definition and meaning from a Thai point of view.

What was it that motivated you?
To do a book like this is a labour of love. It’s hard to conceive any other reason than love of the language and the challenge of seeing if one can do what hasn’t ever been done before.

The language is about 2,000 years old and no one had ever put all the jai words in one book, let alone tried to explain them in Thai or English, as far as I could see.

How do the two editions differ?
One thing that is very important with a book like this is to make it very user friendly. I came up with categories like “Heart Talk for the Good Times” where there’s Appreciation, Contentment, Convenience etc. so people can look down the list and say, okay this is how the Thais conceptualize it or use the concept.

So I’ve now put the phrases into a meaningful pattern. Whereas in the first edition, the words were basically in one chapter and it was up to the reader to find the word they were interested in. Why are the jai expressions printed both in English and in Thai?

The Thai text helps bridge the cultural gap between the Thai and non Thai speaking community. Thais are very proud of their language, and would react positively to someone who asked them, “How do you pronounce this word?”

Who is your target audience?
This book is for foreigners who are serious about studying Thai. I think it should be a fun book for them. On the Thai side, people who want to learn English, It is a perfect way of learning English through your own language. There’s an opportunity to learn aspects of English, and aspects of how English speakers perceive Thai speakers with in the context of the heart.

Where does reason reside, in the heart or the mind?
I think from a Thai language point of view reason is informed by the heart. It is impossible to divorce reason from the emotional aspect of it. They are together. It’s like the blood going through an artery. You have to have a delivery mechanism and you have to have the vital life forces as well. Otherwise the body doesn’t survive and nor does the language.

Do you think foreigners in Thailand are aware of how prominent jai expressions are in the Thai language?
I think in part what I’m trying to do is in some way analyse what a lot of people take for granted. The heart words are everywhere like the atmosphere, that consists of components like nitrogen, oxygen and so on. What I’m trying to do in a way is to be a linguistic chemist, bringing the jai terms together and saying, “Let’s stop and analyse what’s around us.” And it’s very interesting to me to enter that heart-talk universe.

Does your book guide people into the Thai heartscape?
Yes, it does. We Westerners tend to view the heart in association with strong emotions, whether it’s anger, fear, hostility or love. It is much broader and encompassing in the Thai language. For example, how you learn the notion of confidence. We don’t necessarily associate that with the heart anymore in the West.

Table of Contents of Heart Talk
Acknowledgements Introduction Phonetic Guide Pronunciation Guide Chapter 1 Heart Talk for the Good Times Appreciation Contentment Convenience Desire Earnest Enjoyment Entertainment Excitement Fascination Grace Happiness Inspiration Relief Security	Page 10 Page 13 Page 18 Page 20 Page 23 Page 23 Page 24 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 28 Page 29 Page 29 Page 30 Page 30 Page 31 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35
Chapter 2 Heart Talk for the Hard Times Annoyance Anxiety Arguments Depressed Discouragement Disturbed Doubtfulness Embarrassment Frustration Impatient Loneliness Powerless Sadness Sensativity Shame Weariness	Page 36 Page 36 Page 38 Page 40 Page 41 Page 43 Page 45 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 51 Page 54 Page 55 Page 56
Chapter 3 Heart Talk Compliments Compassion/Consideration Confidence Courage Generosity Goodness Kindness Nobility	Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 64 Page 65 Page 67 Page 69 Page 71
Chapter 4 Heart Talk Condemnations Arrogance Cowardliness Deceptions Devils Losers Nuisance Selfishness Mad Dogs, Killers & Ex-Lovers The Troubled	Page 73 Page 74 Page 75 Page 76 Page 77 Page 78 Page 79 Page 79 Page 81 Page 84
Chapter 5 Heart Talk in Relationships Betrayal Bluntness Character Traits Condition Effort Fear Forgiveness Hypocrisy Joy and Tenderness Pain and Sorrow Pleasing Others Respecting Others Revealing The Heart Secrecy Trust and Importance Unity Vulnerability	Page 86 Page 87 Page 92 Page 92 Page 93 Page 94 Page 94 Page 96 Page 96 Page 97 Page 100 Page 105 Page 106 Page 106 Page 107 Page 108 Page 114 Page 115
Chapter 6 Heart Talk in Society Class System Community Consensus Differences Friendship Hurt Feelings Justice Memories Obedience Persuasion Pride Responsibility and Family Surprise	Page 116 Page 116 Page 121 Page 122 Page 123 Page 123 Page 128 Page 129 Page 129 Page 130 Page 130 Page 132 Page 133 Page 136
Chapter 7 Heart Talk Warfare Battle Cries Regret Revenge Verbal Weapons	Page 139 Page 140 Page 142 Page 143 Page 144
Chapter 8 Heart Talk Body Talk Breathing Dying Fainting Shake, Rattle and Roll	Page 148 Page 149 Page 151 Page 153 Page 153
Chapter 9 Heart Talk of Self-Control	Page 155
Chapter 10 Heart Talk Perception Beauty Concentration Forgetting Imagination Intuition Knowledge Mistakes Realization Satisfaction Sincerity Tempation Understanding	Page 162 Page 162 Page 163 Page 165 Page 165 Page 166 Page 166 Page 167 Page 168 Page 168 Page 172 Page 173 Page 173
Chapter 11 Heart Talk Choice Decision Making Free Will Uncertainty	Page 178 Page 178 Page 182 Page 183
Chapter 12 Heart Talk Romance Commitment Cycle of Romance Endearments Infatuation Intimacy Love Loyalty Study of Heart Test of Heart Truth and Trust	Page 186 Page 186 Page 189 Page 192 Page 193 Page 193 Page 195 Page 197 Page 197 Page 197 Page 198
Chapter 13 Heart Talk Hand Talk	Page 200
Glossary	Page 210
Index	Page 220

Heart Talk Romance

Our OCR is unable to scan and recognize Thai language text. In the book, please note that for each Heart Talk phrase there is: Thai script, phonetics, English meaning.

Chapter 12

This chapter contains Heart Talk Phrases which most lovers who are fluent in the Thai language wish to hear from the object of their affection. Every language has its "Pillow Talk", and the Thai language is no exception. "Pillow Talk" is found in the metaphors linked to the heart. When one uses one of these heart phrases, remember that the listener is expecting the speaker to reveal the true condition of his or her feelings. In most cases, the Thai listener has an experienced ear, judging each heart phrase with a view to determining if it is sincere.

The Thais are world class experts on knowing whether one's expression of heart and the actual status of the heart match. Whether the speaker is being genuine or is merely trying to please with a pleasant phrase. The quickest way to lose credibility is to use a heart phrase for an ulterior motive, that is in an effort to gain something from the listener rather than communicate a true emotional state of being.

A number of the heart phrases appearing in this chapter have appeared in earlier chapters. For the die-hard romantic a review of such heart phrases from the point of view of romance is a useful exercise.

A good place to start is with heart phrases about commitment and then to examine the heart phrases one might find inside a hill cycle of romance: Boy wishes to meet girl and suffers until he finds her, then boyfriend and girlfriend have an argument and the relationship ends with the girl walking out, and the boy is left to nurse his emotional wounds. Of course the cycle is the same where the girl wishes to meet boy. At each point in the cycle there is a heart phrase.

Commitment

There are romantic relationships that last a day and others that last a fife time. The degree of personal commitment to the relationship is conveyed in a number of heartphrases. The common link in each phrase is the importance a special person occupies in the life of another. Given this chapter is about romance—one kind of a relationship—the object of communication is assumed to be a spouse or lover.

Body and Heart
thang kaay IE jai

The heart of romance is when two people achieve that state of being where they feel a communion of Body and Soul. The heart phrase thang kaay IE jai is that threshold beyond plong jai rak. When one’s spouse or lover whispers thang kaay IE jai it is the ultimate Zen state of commitment when the bodies and souls of two people merge and there is now a sense of oneness. She has held nothing back and neither has he; they exist together as body and soul. One is deep in the heartland of romance before using thang kaay IE jai. By doing so, the man becomes the woman’s hero and she becomes his heroine, and they are in a romantic epic of their own making.

Confident Heart
man jai

To have a "confident heart" means a person is confident of their feelings about their spouse or lover. In the context of romance, the confidence is specifically about the relationship and the other person's commitment to the relationship. To say one feels man jai regarded as an expression of commitment between two people in a relationship. When one person asks their lover about his or her feelings concerning the relationship, and the lover replies by using this expression, it means she or he trusts them and is committed to being with them.

Contract of One's Heart
san yaa jai

"Contract of one's heart" is another weighty emotional heart phrase. One has committed their heart to a permanent relationship or marriage. This commitment is san yaa jai—it is one person's contract with their heart. And the terms are dear: he or she is in the relationship for keeps. This is not idle conversation for the first date. This is not dating talk at all. The language of contract means one has seated a lover's bargain for staying the course over the long haul. Break this contract and the damages for the contract breaker to worry about are not ones their lawyer can protect them against.

Gold Chain Around Ones Heart
soo thOOng khlOOng jai

The "gold chain around one's heart" is a feeling Thai parents may have about their children in orbit around their lives. Also, it is an expression for the feeling children have about their parents. The heart phrase conveys a good feeling or a feeling of wellness. It is not limited to parent-child and may be used between lovers.

Like the heart phrase below, this one is the real "inside stuff' on what Thai speakers say to express that special relationship. It would be unusual for a non-native speaker to know and use this phrase. By so doing, it is likely to draw an amazed smile. The spin is this, "An emotional gravity holds us in a tight orbit, and nothin', but nothin' ain't gonna pull us apart."

Irrevocable Heart
plong jai rak

The irreversible feeling of love is plong jai rak. One has given in their heart to another in a way that makes it impossible for them to withdraw from the relationship. The notion of "irrevocably' is weighty and meaningful in any language. lf wishes to use plong jai rak it should be understood that "irrevocable heart" is an expression of a lifelong commitment. To revoke the irrevocable is probably an exempted risk on Thai life insurance policy-, one should check it before carelessly using this heart phrase. These are the words every Thai (indeed everyone) wishes to hear-but not as phuut aw jai or flattering talk.

Iris of the Heart
kEEw taa duang jai

The person who is the "iris of the heart" is the most important or vital person residing in the center of one's heart. This is the NASA command center. Every emotional thing a person puts into orbit comes from here. One wants to be programmed into this place in their spouses or lover's heart. It is common for Thais to say the most important thing in a mother's heart is her children. And a daughter will invariably say her mother is the most important thing in her heart. It is less common for a lover to use this phrase; but when used in the romantic context what proceeds is often an emotional meltdown.

My Heart
jai duang nii

This romantic heart phrase means that one is committed to another. It is an expression of giving one's heart to that special person in their fife. Each person would like for their lover or spouse to proclaim, "I love you and jai duang nii is for you only. "

Cycle of Romance

Breathing Together Heart
mii jai hay kan

Early into the romantic cycle it is common for lovers to experience a closeness and oneness. It is as if they are breathing as one being. Thus the "breathing together heart" is the honeymoon phase of the relationship. The ultimate discovery of defects and flaws is for a later stage in the cycle. For the moment, the lovers are in peace and harmony with one another. They are fulfilled and satisfied. And more importantly, they are in love with one another.

The essence of the heart phrase is to the love two people feel towards each other. This phrase can be used to ask a question about whether another person loves them. A couple has been friends for a longtime and this grows into love and one day, one them acknowledges this transition from friendship into love by using this phrase.

Capture Another's Heart
khayum hua jai

This is a slang heart phrase for describing the feeling that comes when another person has captured their heart. The meaning is they want a relationship with this person, the feeling of love and commitment are implicit in the phrase as well. Lek may confide to her friend Noi, that Charles with whom she has been having a relationship via the internet has captured her heart.

Cold Heart
naaw jai

"Cold heart" is the opening scene prior to the commencement of a love affair. A man or woman who claims to feel naaw jai is giving a signal that he or she wishes to have a relationship with another and is suffering from the lack of such a relationship. The heart phrase is the stuff of poetry, films, and novels. The emotional state is like an arctic cold front which blows through a person's heart and leaves them with the feeling of aloneness; in this snowbound world of the heart, their life in the world is cold, and they experience naaw jai. When this inner sense of loneliness occurs then the desire arises to seek refuge in a relationship. On the other hand, a man or a woman who is constantly complaining of this emotional state might be said to be khii naaw jai. The expression refers to the nature of such a person which suggests a negative quality.

Depressed Heart
ra thom jai

The "depressed heart" is the final emotional state in the romantic cycle of lovers meeting, one lover leaving the other, an d the left person feeling depressed. The term is used primarily in the context of a love affair that has ended or is heading toward its final destruction. The heart phrase is similar to pooet jai but it conveys a greater sense of depression. When one's lover runs off with his or her best friend then he or her will feel ra thom jai.

Heaven in the Chest, Hell in the Heart
sawan nay ok narok nay jai

The literal translation is that one feels heaven in one's chest but hell inside one's heart. The lovers no longer are breathing as one person. Conflicts have emerged. The inevitable problems of adjustment have given way to a period of compromise where one or both lovers feel that they have the best and worst of worlds inside the relationship. The heart experiences an emotional schizophrenia. Whether the heaven part dominates or the hell part does will depend on a number of factors within the relationship. Or it may be that the balance between heaven and hell is roughly equal and the relationship struggles along without any firm resolution.

Hurt Heart
hua jai raaw raan

"Hurt Heart" occurs along with the "heaven and hell heart" in the love affair cycle. After finding the person to rid one of the feeling of naaw jai the lover splits from the scene. Now he or she finds themself in the possession of another kind of broken heart; one without the feeling for revenge. This feeling for the lover should be distinguished from jep jai, which is a broken heart, for which the person may seek revenge. When dealing with broken hearts, it is important to distinguish between emotional conditions where the hurt is turned inward, such as hua jai raaw, which is the language of poetry, songs, films and novels where a love affair has ended.

Melting Heart
jai la, laay

The "melting heart" is another heart phrase for disappointment in love. The woman leaves the man and he feels disappointed in love. The emotional state is one of heavy, hurt feelings over the loss of a loved one.

Possess Another's Heart
khrOOng jai

The emotional message is that by possessing another's heart there is an obligation to look after and take care of the emotional well being of that person. Lovers can employ this heart phrase when talking about their feelings. Often it is used among friends to describe how they feel about their loved ones. Sometimes the heart phrase pops up in commercial advertising as well. For instance, it has been used to sell house paint. The paint which is claimed to be of very good quality possesses the heart of the people who love their house.

Heaven Lake Press (1998), 225 pp.